Comments on: Staffing Your Site… Super-Hero Style

By: Katrina

Katrina — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 14:56:22 +0000

I’m a firm believer in clones. If those scientists ever figure it out, I’ll be ordering a few of myself.

By: Aaron Holbrook

Aaron Holbrook — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 18:15:42 +0000

Omg, how unnerdlike of me!!

I’ve been out-nerded! My life is now in shambles; thanks Thomas.

By: Thomas Ames

Thomas Ames — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 15:37:51 +0000

[Trekkie]Aaron, you mean telepathy on the first one. The second one you said is telekinesis (sans bending time, as telekinesis is mostly moving objects or manipulating space [enter theoretical physicist to explain how space and time are related]).[/Trekkie]

By: Aaron Holbrook

Aaron Holbrook — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 15:05:05 +0000

Telekinesis for sure – I’d be able to interpret and anticipate exactly what people are looking for and either do it well or explain (so that they understand) why it wouldn’t work/isn’t a good idea.

I’d also love the ability to bend space and time (like Hiro from Heroes). I’d be able to pause time and take a breather and if I accidentally missed a deadline, I could risk implosion of the space/time continuum by traveling to the past and ensuring the project was completed on time.

Sounds like a good morning’s work to me

By: Chris Sadler

Chris Sadler — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 14:01:20 +0000

I always wanted to be Plastic Man. That way you could bend to the needs of all your internal clients. Plus, think of all the foul balls you could catch.

By: Jake

Jake — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 13:57:23 +0000

As an army of one here, I’d like the ability to create duplicates. I wouldn’t have to train the duplicates, as they’d all be me. I wouldn’t be too worried about maintaining anything they built – because ultimately *I* would’ve built it, so it’ll make sense to me. At the very least, this will let me work knee-deep in a big project and still do all the menial stuff. And with a batch of duplicates, there’s actually a good chance that finished applications would be properly documented – so even if I wasn’t sure what one of my duplicates did, I could read about it. Of course, one duplicate would have the unenviable task of talking to vendors, but that could be off-set by keeping the espresso machine hopping. (Maybe I could send one home to keep up w/ honey-do list, too)

Also, I’d take “mind control” -only a step further. Ideally, it’d be more like the force:

When the network guys come looking for some server resources for whatever new application? I could simply respond “These aren’t the servers you’re looking for [waves hand]; let them go about their business” and the network folks would get that glazed, blank look they get and repeat after me: “These aren’t the servers we’re looking for … [drool] … carry on … ”

Or when I lose a box in the cluster, and can no longer remote into it, I won’t need to hoof it to the other building – I’ll just use the force to reboot it.

My only other request is more of an implement, rather: a large rubber stamp with the word “NO!” in big letters. Maybe it should be in the shape of a hammer, like Thor’s. It wouldn’t actually have to be used in a literal sense, but there are occassions when I’d love to have something heavy to swing that would just put an end to the nonsense. I’m not putting down anyone’s request to “do something on the web” but it really has become a loophole – it’s a “soft expense” which short circuits the need for a department to do their own homework, or pony up for their own software licenses by allowing them to pass the buck to web development. All I’d have to do is brandish that hammer, and that would put an end to the silliness.

By: Ed Bennett

Ed Bennett — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 15:53:13 +0000

“Who Knows What Evil Lurks in the Hearts of Men?” – The Shadow Knows…

If the Shadow could look into the heart of Google and forecast SEO results – then you’d have cool superpower.

By: Thomas Ames

Thomas Ames — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 15:36:25 +0000

The most important one for me would be mind control. I’d love to be able to control choice people around the organization in order to produce a Web culture. Imagine not having to go to any meetings, instead making them put Web duties at the top of their list of things to do? Ah, it would be nice!

I’d also have to choose flying. We’re a building a block or two away from the hospital (I’m lazy, so sue me!), and the shuttle buses are about to be rerouted due to construction. It would be nice to just fly on over to the hospital when there’s a meeti… er… luncheon!

As for invisibility, there are some problems that let you literally watch your users. My last position was in ecommerce, and we regularly watched customers browse and search on our Web site. And we could even initiate a pop-up box for communication if they needed help. Scary, to say the least, to think that there could be people watching you while you’re browsing (and even worse, ordering).